Visit with the Neurosurgeon, Christmas, and all that good stuff

So we just got back again from Md Anderson yesterday Evening. On the 27th Chris met with Dr. Amy Heimberger where she went over the MRI scans of his brain. She explained his 3 options for the removal of his brain mets. Option one: Surgery, she explained alot of people just want it out ASAP but there ran some small risks of infection. Option 2: Full Brain radiation. I don't even know why this was an option honestly but she didn't push it. Option 3: Gamma Ray Knife which is a pinpointed laser of radiation that destroys tumors within approx 3 months time.

This is the plan Chris is going with. Since his tumor is small there is a 95% success rate for this procedure to eradicate his tumor. And I don't know about you, but I like those kind of odds!! We go back to the Hospital Sunday for them to put an IV in for Chris then on Monday (Jan 2) he will have the procedure. Then we have to stick around Houston another 24 hours before being able to go home. I can't tell you how thankful I am for my cousins who always graciously take us in, they are Awesome. As soon as we got out of the neurosurgeons office we ran into Stacey and her sister Robin who is also going through this Melanoma roller coaster. I was happy for Chris to meet Robin and it felt good to give Stacey a hug. They have been through so much and I ask everyone to continue to pray for them as they pray for us.

The next day Chris went to his audiologist appointment, no change in his hearing loss, but I do believe the ringing in his ears hasn't been as bad then we took a trip to the MOHS  dermatology clinic where they took more samples of moles that proved atypical a couple of months ago. So I really hope they come back OK this go around. We really want to go visit the Melanoma floor to see all our nurses from Chemo but I think Chris wants his scans to be completely clean so he show off, at least that's what I say. I miss those ladies, especially our Nurse practitioner, Jessie. She was the best. Anyways that was our hospital news! We had such a wonderful Christmas and I can truly say that I have been calm and not" freaking out" like I usually am, and I know its because of prayers. Thank you! In between our hospital appointments we got in some good visits with all my cousins. We drove down with my Aunt Lorna and I enjoyed her company so much during our stay and on the drive Its nice to change things up  every once in a while! Well I just wanted to update everyone on whats going on. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and will have a very Happy New Year. I am ready to put this past year behind us look forward to a new year of Chris healing and getting better!

Love you all

xo

k

6 months of BioChemotherapy results

Honestly the following is just a copy and paste of my facebook status from yesterday. I am terribly sick with the flu I must have picked up a bug at MD Anderson and I have to stay away from my honey so he doesn't get sick :(


Well we didn't exactly hear the news we wanted to hear but this is whats going on. His lung tumor is almost gone its just a small spot now. His sinus tumor has shrunk considerably. They think both are most likely dead and that is the remaining tissue. They have found a spot on his brain. It is very small the size of a half of a pea. The radiologist wasn't even convinced it was a melanoma. BUT it wasn't there his last scan and its where melamomas like to take up residence in the brain. Biochemo treats the whole body but not the brain. We will meet with a neuro surgeon next week for a consultation and then they will perform pinpoint radiation (gamma knife)and zap it. His Dr. thinks that a small piece of his sinus tumor must have broke off and went to the brain. Dr. Patel says the procedure is very effective. The next step after that would be removing the remaining sinus tumor. Well we are headed home. Thank you for the prayers, please continue to keep us on those prayerlists. It could have been much worse news and I am thankful that his tumors were not still active and that no other tumors besides the one in his brain have metasized anywhere eles. Today has been stressful but atleast I know where Chris stands.

Dear God..

Dear God.
First and foremost I want to thank you for all the wonderful blessings you have bestowed upon me throughout my life. Thank you for giving me parents who cared for me and thank you for rest of my family and friends who mean so much to me. I  truly don't deserve all that I have. Forgive me for the wrongs I have done throughout my life and all the mistakes that I will make in the future.  Right now I am coming to you on my knees and asking you that you take care of my husband. I am a complete wreck and am so scared about his upcoming hospital trip. Please God if it's  in your will please lay your hands on Chris and heal him of this horrible disease. Please take away our fear and be with us as you have been during this dark period of our lives. God thank you for sending Chris to me.  He is truly my best friend and love of my life. Through prayer and love we have overcome so many obstacles throughout our marriage. Please let me be able to keep Chris here on this Earth. I just can't imagine not growing old with him and not having a family with him. My heart aches so bad when I think about him not being here. I just don't know if I will be able to make it without him, I love him so much. Dear God just please be with us and take all theses negative thoughts out of my head I ask for greater Faith and the ability to see the positives in life right now. I need you more than ever and I know you hear me. Please answer my prayers with good results next Wednesday. Thank you for listening  God . I Love you
Amen
k

Restaging and Headaches

Well Chris has been having a 5 day headache that wont seem to go away. It's making me really bad nervous. He called MD Anderson yesterday but his Dr and nurse were both off. I got an automated call later that day that said he now had an appointment on the 20th and 21st for his complete PET scan and also Dr. Patel is suppose to re- stage his cancer. Then we will go back on the 27th for a brain MRI. So looks like we will be doing alot of traveling to Houston in the next two weeks. Chris didn't even tell me about the headaches until yesterday, I guess he didn't want to scare me but it's too late. He says it feels weird and it won't go away.  Last Friday I had to go to the ER because my left side was hurting so bad they took Xrays and  nothing seemed wrong so they think I just pulled a muscle real bad around my lung area. So the Dr. prescribed me some Lortabs and Muscle relaxers.  Chris took some of my pain medication and its the only thing that seems to help his headache. He still has some pain meds from his last visit to the hospital but they are a little too strong and makes him dizzy and sick. Needless to say I don't mind sharing. I am so scared that the tumor in his sinus is continuing to grow and that is what is causing the pain or there is something new inside growing. I pray pray pray pray that its just a sinus headache. The weather here has been so crazy and we live in a drafty old house. So hopefully that's all it is. I just feel so helpless when it comes to Chris. I just wish I could fix everything but I can't. In better news we had a lovely Thanksgiving and we also had a great time at the Christmas Festival in Natchitoches a couple weekends ago. Got to see all my wonderful cousins and catch up with old friends. I only can wish for more good times like this with Chris in the future. I pray that this PET scan will tell us only good things. I am praying hard for a Christmas Miracle and hope you are too. Sorry I  haven't written in a while but there hasn't been much to update other than Chris's headache he has been doing really well and building back up his strength and putting weight on. He looks so great. Anyways love you all and thank you keeping up and reading the blog.
All my love
Kendra

Chris feeling and looking good at the Christmas Festival

A mole? no no no no no no

Uhggg so today Chris says to me.. is this a mole? I really don't know.. they are small but it looks like some a few moles coming up on his arm and one his head. Now I am freaking out honestly. Tomorrow morning I have my follow up  for some biopsies with our Dermatologist so I am going to have her look at  Chris for a minute. Also his itching seems to be getting worse and worse, although oatmeal baths and Cocoa butter seemed to help for a little bit.

 I am dreading Dec 27th. I just keep praying so hard. I just don't know what I would do if they tell us it's still growing... to imagine Chris went through almost 6 months of torment is unimaginable. I need your prayers more than ever. I hate when the doubt sets in, its gets me so down. I just love Chris so much I can't imagine a life without him. Also everyone please continue to pray for my friend Stacey and her family, her sister is also Battling Stage 4 Melanoma. Please help spread the word about the importance of getting your skin examined yearly, it could save more lives then you would ever know.
Love all of you so much.
xo
k

All my love.

Well Chris is continually feeling better and that is such a wonderful thing!  Everyday he grows a little bit stronger. Last week I went the dermatologist for a check up,she said everything looked OK but she wanted to take a couple of biopsy's on a couple of less than normal looking moles. Since this whole ordeal every time I see a new mole pop up on myself or anyone I have melanoma paranoia. I encourage everyone to get check up especially if you have a fair complexion and have more than 20 moles. Just to be on the safe side!
I just keep on praying that everything will work out in Chris's favor. I am feeling better about things and haven't been so down in the dumps. I just couldn't have made it this far without every ones love and support. I would like to give a special thanks to The Nakatosh Priesthood, MPH, The Cancer League of Northeast Louisiana for all the prayers and financial help. Also my friends and family,, I feel so much gratitude for the phone calls, the weekly visits , cards, flowers..donations... Just EVERYTHING! All the love we have received from everyone is overwhelming and I just want to let you know I won't ever forget it. Your all pretty darn Awesome and don't you forget it.

Time sure does fly! 11 years married today!

Awwww we had a very nice today. Our day started off with a phone call from MD Anderson, they said that everything looked pretty normal on his blood test results, although his white blood count seemed to be elevated but it's still OK. We went out for lunch, I won 60.00 at bingo paradise off ten, went for ice cream then we went to the movies and saw Tower Heist (which wasn't as funny as I hoped but still good). We had a very nice anniversary and  had alot of fun. No moping around today and Chris was in good spirits. I hope to have at least 50 more!
xo
k

Think happy thoughts.. Think Happy Thoughts..

Geez I wish I could fall asleep. Every night it seems I get to bed between 2-3 am. I try to make myself wake up early to get things on track but it doesn't seem to work. Maybe I can blog myself to sleep?!
Anyways Chris is feeling better, his stomach finally started acting right. We finally talked to his nurse and she said if he continued to have this pain for the next 24 hours that he would have to immediately go to the ER, needless to say I went to Wallyworld and bought heating pads, an array of gas medications, antacids... well something seemed to work because by the next morning he felt better. Today Chris went and gave blood hopefully everything will turn out to be ok. This past weekend I had a fun Halloween I even won a costume contest! I won a mini Heinekin fridge, it's so cute! It could not have came at a better time I gave it to Chris for an anniversary gift seeing that we decided not to get each other anything this was quite a  surprise for him. I wanted to wait until Friday but I couldn't keep it a secret I won, I was too excited.
Well aside from my happy win  I have still been down in the dumps. I just can't get into a normal routine, I feel so unmotivated and depressed. Sometimes when I am by myself I have these morbid thoughts like, this is what its going to be like if something happens to Chris, just no one here to talk, no one to snuggle to, no one to laugh with. Its sick, I know this. I have been trying so hard to think positive but horrible thoughts cross my mind on the daily. I just wish I could know what was going on in his body. I promise after this post no more being sad posts I will try and create some happy days that will make for happy blogs. Love you all.
xoxo
k

Sad and Feeling Bad

Well we have been home for a couple of days now and although I feel relieved not having to go to the hospital for a while I feel so incredibly sad. Chris is feeling miserable his stomach is in severe pain and I don't know what to do about it. I called his doctor and left a message. We have tried everything. He is having a feeling of just like a rock on his stomach and has been dry heaving. He is suppose to go do blood work today but he doesn't think he can make the 30 minute drive. I guess we will try tomorrow. I feel so bad I cannot help him feel better. I just don't know what to do. I don't know how I am going to make it the next 2 months, I keep worrying about ,what if the cancer  continues to grow.. Why oh why do I continually think the worst? Why couldn't we just know tomorrow? To make matters worse I had a lady tell me recently she went through biochemo successfully only for her Melanoma to come back full force a few months later. Thanks lady  I hate this so much.

All Finished!

Well they are letting Chris go home today yay!!! We are now just waiting for the IV therapy team to come and remove Chri's PIC line out of his arm. I know that will be a relief for him!!  Please pray for patience for me as the next 8 weeks are just gonna be tough. It seems all I do is wait. I hate cancer so much!!! Thank you for going through all of this with me! I will keep you updated periodically the next few months until we go back for testing. I am scared and excited and relieved feeling all at once.

Love you all!

xoxoxoxox

Kendra

Last Treatment Days 3 and 4

Well not too much is going on. Chris has been sleeping pretty hard the last few days. I don't blame him. He has gained about 10 pounds in fluid and is pretty red. Also he has thrush but they have been giving him something that melts on his tongue to get rid of it. I am so excited that this is the last treatment. I will definitely not miss spending every 2 weeks here. Although I must admit I have grown fond of several staff members and I will miss them. The nurses here are the best ever. Chris has one more full night of Biochemo tonight minus the Cisblastin and tomorrow he will only have the Interferon. I can't believe the whole summer passed away so fast and November will be upon us in no time. November 4 is our Anniversary! 11 years. Wow! It wasn't easy and we certainly have had our share of struggles not including our current one but I am so proud we have stuck with it. I am more in love with Chris than the day I married him. I think we make an awesome team! :D 
I keep thinking about having to wait for 8 weeks to know what's going on with Chris. I just have to give it all to God and know he will take care of us.  I am happy that at least the wait will be going on during Nov and Dec, I will have lots of Holiday things to do to distract me.
   Anyways in other news I have smoked only One cigarette today  and yesterday I smoked only One and 1/2. I really don't want one until after I eat. Hopefully by the time we leave (hopefully Tuesday) I will be smoke free and stay that way! Oh and guess who won Bingo 4 times today!!!!!! Me!!!!!!!!!  I was so excited!! I won a Scrabble board game, a pretty scarf, one of those hard plastic drinking cups with straw, and a 5.00 gift certificate. That made my day!! :D  Anyways well let me stop because I think I might be rambling.
All my love
xo
k

Day 2 of last treatment

Well not much going on today, Chris has mainly been sleeping in between visits from the nurse to give him medicine and blood pressure checks from the CNA's. This week Dr. Kim is Chris's rounding doctor and he came in and told Chris that his blood work from yesterday was fine and he shouldn't have to have a blood transfusion this round. So that's good.  I haven't been feeling very good I think the chantix is making me sick. I have only smoked 2 cigarettes today though so that's wonderful. Its been so embarrassing to me that here I am with a husband fighting for life against cancer and I have been choking down smokes. I actually have taken Chantix before and it worked well but I ended up back smoking. Ugh. The first time I took it, it took about 10 days for me to quit but I see this time it will alot sooner,cigarettes are already starting to taste really really bad!  Oh last night I got up to use the bathroom and discovered our bathroom was starting to flood! Omg! Luckily maintenance came right up and fixed it. I would have hated to wake up this morning in a foot of water. Anyways that whats going on! Please keep praying for Chris.
xo
k

Day one of Last Treatment

Well today has been quite a day. We left this morning at around 8 and arrived at the hospital at around 12:30. We had to ride a shuttle to Chris's first appointment at the Mohs Clinic and by 1:45  (his appointment was at 2:00)I was a tad worried when we arrived back to where we were picked up, I asked if we missed our stop but apparently the shuttle driver forgot to go there on his round... humph. Anyways we finally get there and if you remember from my previous post I wasn't sure what we were doing there except to meet with a surgeon. Well apparently they didn't know why we were there either. So after an hour and a half of trying to figure things we were told that Chris was there to get another better and deeper biopsy of a mole on his ear.. but he should wait until after Chemo to have it done.. So that appointment was kind of a waste of time and also made us late for the next two appointments!  We got back to the Main hospital and Chris gave up a little blood and had his chest X-rayed. We finally met with Dr. Patel and she told us that is was Amazing Chris was on his sixth treatment.  They are going to lower his dose of cisplatin because of  hearing loss and also lower the vinblastine due to the start of nerve damage in his fingers and toes. Dr. Patel said after the end of his treatment they wouldn't schedule him back for tests for another 2 months.  They said there was no point in doing anything any sooner because even if the treatment does not kill the cancer or it continues to grow, Chris will be too weak to handle any other kind of treatment at that time. So we will have to wait 8 weeks after this last treatment to find out anything. Its going to be so nervewracking and I don't know if I will have the patience to wait that long!
Anyways  I am trying to make this short I have an awful headache and need some sleep. Oh! I am on day 2 of chantix!!  Go me! :D I hope your all doing well continue to pray and I will continue to update. All my love.
xo
k

Chris's Fundraiser.. I am still in Awe.

Well the fundraiser has come and gone and I am still feeling the love and kindness resonating through me as if we were still there. I just can't thank everyone enough. God just keeps on answering our prayers over and over again. Its just so overwhelming. The Nakatosh Priesthood REALLY out did themselves and they cooked some of the best jambalaya that I ever had. Chris was nervous about going as he doesn't really like being the center of attention but when he got there and saw everything and everyone his anxiousness disappeared. From our dear friends and family who stopped by and passersby's who donated  to the cause, we are just so thankful. You have no idea how much this has helped us not only financially but spiritually. I still get happy tears every time I think about the kindness of the whole event. It was Awesome. We couldn't have asked for a better day. The sun was shining and this was the BEST Chris has looked or felt in months!

My beautiful friend Mandi and her way Awesome shirt!

Oh the food was so GOOD!

Chris was all smiles! He looked so good!

My lovely friends Vanessa and Mandi

I was so thrilled to see my cousin Karen and Aunt BooBoo! That's my daddy on the right!

Chris and I with the Nakatosh Priesthood, they are AWESOME!

Chris with my cousin's Adrian and Carolina

Serving up food

Chris Visiting with Family and Friends

Ragan and Mandi posing with Chris and I

Chris watcha looking at!? With the Nakatosh priesthood and our mommies!

Working hard!

Chris and his Sister Susan

Chris our nephew Phillip, Sister Susan, Nephew Matt, and Susan's Bf Matt

Ok he is looking in the right direction now!

Chris and his Mom

Me and my love :D

Aunt BooBoo, Karen, Me, and Chris

Suzy, Susan and Stacy lookin pretty

I just want to thank everyone again we are beyond grateful. We love all of you so much.
xo
k

Eating like a piggy

I know its been a while since I have written an entry, sorry about that. Everything has been OK the past week. We have had lots and lots of company and I have just tried to stay busy and keep my mind off  of stuff. Tomorrow is the Jambalaya lunch fundraiser, I can't wait to see family and friends and eat some yummy food! Speaking of food, Chris has been eating REALLY well!! Normally at this time he would be in day 2 of Chemo but since he got the extra week at home his appetite has absolutely picked up. I need to buy a battery for my scale to see if he has gained any weight. I can't really tell by looking at him, he is still pretty skinny. The hospital called the other day and Chris has a new appointment with a surgeon before he admits to the hospital. I see that she is a plastic surgeon so I'm  THINKING that means that maybe the tumor in his sinus will maybe be able to be operated on?!? I don't know.. but I do know they would probably have to go in through the front of his face hence the plastic surgeon.  I really need to get to the phone first when the hospital calls so I can ask these kind of questions. Husbands! humph! :D  I actually called to ask but it just went to the nurses voicemail, so I guess we will find out Tuesday.  Since Chris's appetite is back I was hoping his strength would too, but it seems he is feeling pretty tired and weak, I know his bones are working hard to make more blood, I just hate that he gets so winded so fast. Anyways loves that's that! Please keep praying as Chris moves into his last Treatment. I am so scared but so full of hope all at once. I pray pray pray this works!!
xo
k

Its a small world.

Well Chris is still getting his appetite  back slowly but surely and seems to be feeling a little better today. Our friends Kim and Kevin came over today and presented Chris with a video game that he really wanted, how cool was that? It put a big fat smile on his face and now he has something to look forward to doing while stuck at home for the next few weeks. MD Anderson never called back with the results of Chris's blood tests so I am assuming everything is good for now.

Well I wanted to ask a favor from everyone. On our second round of treatment at MD Anderson I was with my sister in law and she bumped into a client from the salon she works at Named Stacey Rachal.(small world huh?) Now Stacey was on the same floor as Chris and was with her sister who is also has Metastatic Melanoma. Recently they received disheartening news that she has now developed leptomeningial disease click HERE to find out more about what this is. I just want to ask all of you to pray for Stacey, her sister Robbin Friday Tucker and for their family. I have been crying for the last hour my heart hurts so bad for her. So please add her to your church prayer list and lets hope for better news their next trip to Houston!

xo
k

A positive attitude is half the battle.

Well today was a nice day. We had got to visit with Chris's little sister from Florida this morning and then we visited with some more friends later on in the day. Also our nephew Matthew, came home today from his deployment in Afghanistan! We wanted to greet him when he got off the plane but Chris's stomach was still hurting really bad and  just couldn't endure the car ride there and back. Hopefully we will see him soon!
 Chris's mom brought him some pine nut oil, it's suppose to  help protect and soothe the stomach. He really could tell a difference after taking it and he is actually  starting to feel a little better. It was funny to me today when his little sister, who hadn't seen him since he was diagnosed, turned and said to me " Omg I thought he would be a lot worse.." Well that's because Chris has an amazing attitude and is in such great spirits you can almost forget he has cancer. He is so Awesome. Everyone tells us a positive attitude is half the battle and I believe it.  He is fighter and he will keep on fighting, I love him so much!
Keep us in your prayers and please join us Oct 15 for Chris's fundraiser. I am still in awe that this was put together for Chris, its such a blessing!
xo
k

Side Effects suck

Well we got in Tuesday night and the drive from Houston seemed to take forever this go around. Thankfully MD Anderson gave Chris an extra week at home in hopes to fatten him up. I must say he has been trying his darnedest to get food down, the only problem it seems it that the food is going nowhere and is just sitting on his stomach. The chemo has really messed up his GI tract.  Before we left the hospital Tuesday they sent Chris to an audiologist because he has been having constant ringing in his ears, Cisblastin, one of the chemo drugs can cause hearing loss. They said he did have some  loss and it may or may not come back. Also his nerve endings in his feet and hands seem to be getting worse, another thing that will hopefully come back but they can't be certain. So these are some of the side effects he is also dealing with ,besides the nausea and what not.
 Well we went to Natchitoches today and Chris did his blood labs , I think everything will be OK, that blood transfusion last week really did him a world of good. After that, I hit the grocery store and loaded my buggy down with lots of fattening food. There is no way he is not going to gain some weight this go around, hopefully I wont! I also picked up a newspaper yesterday and I asked Chris to read it to me while we were driving and as soon as he opened it he saw his face lol there was an insert for the Fundraiser Oct 15. He was surprised and touched. I just wanted to let everyone know in the flyer its says we do not have insurance but we do have some insurance, just no income but the bills are already racking up, each of Chris's treatments cost around 93,000 a pop. Ack! Insurance covers some of it but if you can imagine a nice chunk is left. I have just been putting the bills in a big Manila envelope and will worry about them when I have to. There is nothing I can do about it right now and they will just have to wait. It's really not my main priority. Chris getting better is. I just love him so much and I can't imagine not growing old with him. I hate cancer so much. It sucks!!! Sometimes I think I torture myself by reading about it constantly on the Internet and I have to keep reminding myself, everyone is different. Does anyone watch the Big C on Showtime? Well its about a Melanoma patient and her struggle, anyways on the season finale her son is talking to the Dr asking him how much time his mom has left and he tells her possibly 10 months -2 years but then he tells him "but sometimes there are those who defy who all odds.." And that will be my love. He has already defied many odds and he will continue. I know he is in the best hands in the world at MD Anderson and I know he has the best support system (you guys!) ever. Please keep praying.
xo
k

Look at those scans!!! :D

Sometimes I get on here and I will re-read my blogs and I get embarrassed because I think I am being a little to whiny and I want to apologize for that. Well today I promise no complaining, no whining, and no worrying. We finally got to see Chris's latest scans of his lung and they are just AMAZING!!!  The picture quality is not the best because for some reason my camera is working but they are not loading onto the computer so I took pictures of the pictures with my camera phone, does that make sense? Regardless here they are:

Wowie Zowie, right?!? I hope his sinus tumor is shrinking that much as well!

I had someone ask me recently why my page is called sinuscancer.blogspot.com and not something to do with melanoma. Well honestly I started this blog before they told us it was melanoma we just knew he had  a malignant tumor in his sinus cavity and we were told it was most likely Sinus cancer it is Extremely rare for a melanoma to grow in the sinus cavity. So that's the reasoning.

I also wanted to share with everyone and invite everyone to the

Jambalaya Plate Lunch Fundraiser for Chris that is being sponsored by the Nakatosh Priesthood. How unbelievably Awesome is that?  A big huge thank you to all of them and to my friend Mandi who helped bring our story to her family.  I honestly have not experienced such kindness. It makes me wanna cry!  I just want to thank EVERYONE involved On October 15 in Natchitoches on the riverbank from 10:30-1:30 They will have Jambalaya plates for purchase. This will include jambalaya, green beans, crackers, dessert, and a drink for $6. 100% of the proceeds will go to the Chris Verzwyvelt Love Fund at Sabine Bank.  I heard Mandi's mom  Mrs. Joy will be cooking so it should be extra yummy. I also wanted to  thank you Mrs. Tammy  Armstrong for Everthing. If you would like to know more please visit the facebook event page Nakatosh Priesthood Jambalaya Plate Lunch Fundraiser for Chris Well that's the story my loves. I feel so blessed and lucky to have all of you in my life. God is listening to me and that makes me happy.

                                                            xoxo

                                                              k

When will I ever wake up from this nightmare?

Well yesterday we found out if Chris loses anymore weight he will not be able to take his last treatment. The doctor told Chris that she didn't think Chris understood what a "miracle" this is, that this treatment hardly works for anyone. So it will be my #1 priority to fatten him up as much as I can when we get home. Ensure Ice Cream shakes.. butter.. cheese.. if its fattening its going into his mouth. I feel so especially bad for him this time around this has been the worst round of treatment for him. Stomach problems galore, throwing up, chills, fever, swelling,redness... the list goes on. It hurts my heart watching him so sick. I just can't explain the array of feelings that go through my mind constantly. Only if you have gone through this could you understand. Not to mention other worries that I have kept at bay in my mind like health insurance in the future, money in general, and once this is over with (crossing fingers) I am going to have to look into going into a new profession. I love being an Esthetician but it is generally contract work, no benefits, no steady paycheck. If I lived in a larger area I could find a salary job but really how many spas are there really in Winn parish surrounding area? Not too many. I have my makeup shop but its not enough to pay the bills, it might pay one bill!  Ugh I just feel so frustrated. Well sorry for all the moaning and groaning but I am allowed, its my life and my diary. Thank for putting up with me and please keep us in your prayers!
xo
k

Strength needed

So as usual I am feeling pretty depressed. I don't want to be here as Chris doesn't want to be here either. We arrived in Houston Monday night where we stayed at my cousins Laurette's apartment. The next morning at 6:00 am we were at the hospital for testing. He had Ct-Scans and Blood work to be done. Needless to say I passed out asleep in the waiting room and I am pretty sure I was snoring.  6am is hard to do after making a 5 hour drive and not getting but a couple of hours of sleep. The good thing about 6am is that you are pretty much done with everything by 10:00 am.  We didn't have to be at MD Anderson until 10:30 Wednesday morning. I decided to call a cab to pick us up that morning instead of parking`at the hospital. The cab drive will end up being 40.00 round trip and if we would have stayed in the parking garage here it would have ended up being 72.00 so at least we saved some dough. When we arrived to his Doctors appointment the first thing they do is take his blood pressure and weigh him. He is down to 166 pounds. Last visit he was at 178 pounds. I told you he was getting skinnier and skinnier. I hate it because he LOOKS like he has cancer now.  Well in the Doctors appointment they told him the small tumors in his left lung are now totally gone and the big one in his right is still shrinking, although she didn't say how much. They didn't take a scan of his sinus tumor because they took an MRI before he left last time and I have the results to that if you didn't see it's a couple of posts down.  Well during question and answer time we asked if this doesn't work (the biochemotherapy) are there more options? They went on to tell us of new clinical trials and whatnot and but said if the Biochemotherapy is working stick with it because its the only thing that can cure it. BUT then I learned when they say cure it they mean keep it at bay for  maybe 5 years.. 10 years if he's lucky. Melanoma is not curable. It will come back. But the only good thing about that is who knows what wonderful advancements they will have made in 5-10 years!?! And just like my friend Leah mentioned on a facebook post of mine, No one has an expiration date and God is still in control and still performs miracles.  Its still disheartening though. Especially when your husband turns to you and says I know I wont live to be an old man. We also had a long talk about children and unless it just happens we will not try to have them. I just don't think having one would be a good idea if their father has a chance of dying or being so sick again. It hurts my heart tremendously but its for the best. During the appointment they also took a biopsy of a very dark mole that had recently popped up on his back in the last month or so. Hopefully it won't be a melanoma. I can't imagine  a new one popping up during all this Chemo, that would be crazy. After his appointment we went down to admissions and waited what felt like an eternity for a room.  To bide our time we went to the cafeteria, we walked around a little, we visited the Hospital Library

Chris looking for some good Science Fiction

We ended up waiting almost 5 hours for a room. Ack!

Waiting Waiting Waiting

We  finally made it to our new room at around 6:00 that evening.  They didn't start Chris on chemo right away as they wanted to give him a blood transfusion first. I guess the blood shortage is gone at least here at MD Anderson. They started him on his fluids when he got to the room and at around 10:30 they decided to give him his Temadar since its one of his only chemo drugs in a pill form and just like last time we were here, he took it then threw it up.  *Sigh* that's the chemo that really helps his sinus tumor. At around 11:00 pm they finally started his blood transfusion.

They ended up giving him 2 units. He said it made him feel a little better and also he didn't feel as cold. So that's good. Thank you to whoever in the world donated that blood. He needed it! Well folks that's the story thus far. I know I have lots of gaps in my blog but sometimes there is not much to write about and sometimes I just don't want to think about the cancer so I ignore all things related to it.  I have alot of people that tell me how strong I am but really I am very far from it. I only deal with what has been given to me. I cry on the daily and I am scared outta of my mind. I try to be strong and I pray for strength but I don't feel it really. I just feel really sad and I worry about the future. I love you all so much and thank you for being here for me I have really learned who my true friends are through this whole situation and I will continue to put on my brave face and I will continue to pray for strength ,I will continue to pray for the very life of my husband and I will continue to appreciate all of you for your kind words, your prayers and for simply being here for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
xo
k

Time again Already

Well its time to go to Houston again! The time at home seemed so short lived this go around. Chris's appetite is finally back but his weight is still low. We got his blood test results back and his hemoglobin levels were at 8.6 so that was great but the nurse  told me he still needs a transfusion, so hopefully they will have some blood available at the hospital this go around.  His white blood count was up at 17.4 which is high and usually is a sign of infection but since he hasn't been running fever it is probably because they gave him a shot of something or other before he left the hospital to help raise his white blood cell count. This will be his 5th treatment of 6 so this time before he is admitted we go a day early for ct scans of his lungs and head. Pray that 6 treatments will do it. I don't know how much longer I can take this. The past 4 months have felt like eternity.
xo
k

My ever shrinking husband

Well it seems like Chris is getting skinnier everyday. I wish he could put a little weight on. I keep cooking but nothing seems to hit the spot for him.  After his last blood test his hemoglobin level was still at 8.1 . We went again today for his labs hopefully his levels have remained  the same or maybe they have gotten higher but I doubt it, I don't think he is eating enough to get his body to start producing any more blood cells but lets hope I am wrong.  I have only left the house twice since I have been home ( for labs) and I am feeling stir crazy.  I wish gas was cheaper! Life is just so strange sometimes, one day your doing great the next day not so good. One thing I have really realized throughout this whole experience is everything that I thought was important, isn't.  Objects and possessions no longer hold much power or influence in my mind.  I would throw away everything I own if I knew it would heal Chris. The only things that really matter are  God, each other, our family and our friends.

Love yall xo
k




Yes we are accepting Donations Please Click here for Info on how to help

X marks theTumor! Before and After MRI pictures

Well we got home yesterday and it feels so wonderful to be back! Chris already had to go do blood work today so we shall find out what the results are soon. Hopefully his hemoglobin hasn't dropped any. If you haven't already read on facebook we got back the results of Chris's MRI and his  head tumor has shrunk significantly I am so happy!

BEFORE (X Marks the Tumor)

After

Here is the Report if you would like to read it

Anyways thats all thats going on. Chris is eating a little but is very tired. Keep us in your prayers and we will keep you in ours.

xo
k

National Blood Shortage

Did you know we are going through a National blood shortage? I had no idea, but who would. Even our Doctor didn't know until she found today when Chris wasn't able to receive his scheduled blood transfusion for today. They have blood but they are saving it for necessary surgery. His Hemoglobin level is 8.1 and they do transfusions at 8.0 :/ His nurse just came in and said they were still trying! They have been trying all day, the staff here is so awesome. Anyways I posted my concerns on facebook earlier and when I logged back in just now there were so many of my friends ready to donate and help. How absolutely wonderful is that?  If he does end up needing someone to donate, Chris's sister has the same blood type, so that is great news.  Well Chris still isn't eating much of anything, not that he is not trying. He just can't keep anything down and everything tastes really bad. He had his MRI this evening, I am not sure if we will find out the results before we leave in the morning or not but they should give us a call if anything is up. Well I am so happy that this is our last night here. We will be heading back in the morning and aren't scheduled back until the 9/19.  I ask you all if you see that LifeCare Blood Bus  and you have the time donate a pint or two, People really need it right now. Love you all so much
xo
k

Broth? Yes Please!

In good news today Chris had some beef broth and crackers today along with some Gatorade! He is not feeling as nauseous as he had been feeling in the last few days. My Aunt Lorna and Cousin Laurette came and cheered everyone up and as of the moment he's quite awake and alert  over there but that might have something to do with the fact LSU is playing on television! ha. In bad news they cancelled Bingo today. How dare they!  They didn't bother telling anyone, just no one showed up. I didn't feel that bad for me as I did for the cancer patients who look forward to it every week. Grrrrrrrr! Anyways today went by a little faster than yesterday so hopefully that trend continues throughout the week. I have been trying to make only healthy food choices while I am here because  these hospital stays have been hard on my waistline!  I come back a few pounds heavier every time I go home.  Its difficult when they make a new homemade cake everyday and have them so nicely displayed throughout the cafeteria. I have a major sweetooth and its my downfall. So nothing but salads and water for me! Well that's the news! Pray for Chris and my waistline! :D

xo

k

No change

Normally time at the hospital seems to go by fast but the last 2 days seem to be dragging by so slow. Well the results of Chris's  lung xray came back today and his tumor has not shrunk but as I have been reminded it has not grown either so that's a good thing.  I just really had my hopes up that this time it would be almost gone.  We also found out that Chris has another tumor in his other lung apparently he's had it since the beginning and its super small but it would have been nice to know about before now. Does he have tumors anywhere else I don't know about?!?  He has been really sick feeling and hasn't ate and is barely drinking anything.  My Aunt Lorna and cousin Laurette are coming to visit tomorrow so maybe that will help the day go faster and maybe it will cheer up Chris. Also Hospital Bingo is tomorrow so maybe I can win a teddy bear or something?!? :)  I gave some blood today and they gave me a T-shirt and some apple juice and cookies. It took 20 mins!  I don't know why it took so long, it was suppose to take around 5-10 minutes. I was starting to feel a little faint.  I really don't like giving blood but it still makes me feel good afterwords at least I know it will help someone somewhere. Anyways that was my day hope you all have a nice labor day weekend.

All my Love

xoxoxoxxo

k

When Reality sinks in

So it seems like when we are home , even though I am very much reminded of the fact that Chris has cancer from cleaning his PIC line to taking him to labs, things still seem to start feeling almost "normal" again. It's easy to pretend that everything is fine for a little while but then he is admitted to the hospital and  BAM! the real reality of the situation literally slaps me in the face and it hurts. I am scared for my husband and I just feel so literally helpless in the process.  I hate this feeling so much.

 Well Chris is resting right now. He did not have a very good day and he threw up some of his medicine last night. He only takes one of his chemo medicines orally so hopefully it wasn't one that came up. He hasn't eaten since we have been here no matter how much I urge him to. Maybe later I can talk him into eating some Italian Ice or something else light. This time around we finally ended up in a small room. For some reason or other our last 3 visits we ended up landing huge corner rooms but I like the small room it feels cozy in here. The doctors have not come in yet  this morning so I don't know anything yet about his chest xray that was taken yesterday but hopefully we will soon. Yesterday Dr. Patel told us after his chemo she would like him to get an MRI  just to make sure nothing else is going on surrounding his dizziness upon standing, but I have a sneaking suspicion she just wants to see  the progress of his shrinking sinus Tumor as much as we do and can't wait until round 5.

Well that's whats going on just another fun filled adventure to MD Anderson Cancer Center!

Pray Pray Pray!

xo

k

H-town Bound

Houston Bound today Folks, Chris admits in the morning for his fourth round of BioChemotherapy. He will take a chest xray before hand so we will be able to find out the progress of his tumor in his chest. We will have to wait until next time to find out any information about his sinus tumor.  I am not looking forward to the trip but am happy that we are getting it out of the way and that he is will now be more than 1/2 way through. We are driving with my Aunt Lorna this time around so that will make the drive fun and we are spending the night with my cousin today and then Aunt Lorna will drop us off at the hospital in the morning. The nice thing about this whole arrangement is I will get off paying less in gas this go around since we will be in her car and not our big truck and I won't have to worry about parking plus Aunt Lorna gets to see her kids so its a win/win situation. I am so lucky I have mother watching over my home and animals, I wouldn't know what I would do if she wasn't here! So that's whats going on. I love you all and please say a BIG prayer that everything goes smoothly at the hospital and we have a safe trip.

xo

k

Picnic and Aching Bones

Dang has it really been 5 days since I last blogged? Time sure does seem to fly by! Well MD Anderson finally called me a couple days ago and told me all of Chris's blood work looks fine! I am so relieved. He has been up and around just fine and his appetite is still awesome.  The only thing that hurts him right now is his bones especially his thighs and knees. I think its a side effect of the Interferon.  I am starting to dread for him to go back to Houston next week. I hate it so much for him. :(

Well we had a nice week and even went on a picnic Wednesday. It was nice to get out of the house together and do something. We went to this place not too far away called Clouds Crossing its a cute little bayou.

The dogs came along and enjoyed riding in the back of the truck

We had sandwiches and chips and enjoyed every bit of it, then again picnic sandwiches always taste better then "sittin on the sofa watching TV sandwiches"  :)

I even spotted a lizard that I don't think I have ever seen before, could some identify this little guy for me? Sorry not the best picture!

All in all it was very nice day and I hope we have many many mannny more nice days to come.

Well that's whats been going on. I love you all thank you so much for your prayers and support.

xoxo
k

Drawing Blood

Well oh well lets see.. Today Chris went and gave more blood. I am surprised he has any left to be honest with you as much he gets drained of it!  They  did actually have a hard time getting some this time around she said that his creatine levels might be low I failed to ask what that actually meant so I suppose that I should google that real fast.. OK back.  ha and  I apparently STILL don't know why creatine levels would effect the ability to draw blood.. I read that creatine when low only tells us that his kidneys are efficiently working...  Hopefully MD Anderson can find it out of the kindness of their hearts to actually give me a call this go around so I know whats going on!  Anyways I am happy that we still have over a week to relax at home and Guess what? Its raining! Glorious Glorious Wonderful Rain. I stood out in it for a full 30 minutes until it started thundering. I feel as renewed as my plants, trees, and grass do. :D  Thank God for it, I didn't think I could take one more day of this dry sweltering heat. Anyways that's the news!

xo

k

Saturday Blues

Sorry I haven't written in a few days, it seems I have had a case of the blues recently. Even though Chris is doing better than I have ever seen him after treatment I have still been feeling down in the dumps. Blahhh I just hate this disease so much and wish it would go away! I haven't been as productive with my time as I probably should be this week I have been doing a lot of sleeping and stressing and I just need to get out of this funk. AND I am not thrilled with MD Anderson at the moment, Chris took his blood tests a couple of days ago and no one has bothered to call us with the results. I have called several times and left messages, they promise to get back with you within 24 hours.. but nothing.. So I hope that means everything is OK!?  Normally they call and let me know either way. He has to take labs again Monday so maybe they will let me know something after this test. I am just nervous that he will have to get a transfusion while we are here and I would like to know where his hemoglobin count stands. 

In happier news Chris has had a really nice appetite the last couple of days. It seemed like last time he came back from treatment everything savory tasted really bad to him so he ended up with alot sweet stuff like fruit, sherbert, Popsicle's.. but this time he can't stomach sweets and has been eating what I would call real food.. meat, hearty soups, bread... you get the picture. I am assuming his body was craving protein and some complex carbs. I am so happy that we don't have to back until the 31st of this month. Last time we got cheated out of 3 days because of numerous  tests but this time around he will only have a blood test and a chest xray and its scheduled the same day he will be admitted.

Well my lovelies that's the news, we love you all and thank you so much for all the prayers, they are working! (Not that I ever thought they wouldn't!!)

xo

k

Enjoying being at the house!

Well we are now home!  Chris is still feeling well and has been eating a little so that's good!   I went grocery shopping today and tried to buy everything I could with high levels of iron as there is a good chance that while we are home Chris is going to have to get a blood transfusion his hemoglobin count was 8.8 and normally at 8 they do a transfusion. The doctors said it was normal at the stage of the game to start receiving transfusions. I found Wheaties and dark organic chocolate have tons! The chocolate had 40% and the cereal was 90% daily recommended allowance. I also bought stuff like Broccoli, Spinach,  Greens, soy nuts, hummus, dried apricots.. just wanna try and keep it up as much as possible. Anyways he is still really tired but not as bad as the last 2 treatments. Oh and I know this is kinda gross but he has been blowing his nose and black stuff is coming out.. Its Tumor!!! Gross but wonderful! :)

Oh and I decided No to Florida I just can't leave my love.

Well that's whats going on!

Love you all

xo

k

What to do, what to do?

I am so happy this is our last night in the hospital for the next couple of weeks. This is the best I have ever seen Chris at the end of a treatment. Besides being tired which is just a side effect of the chemo and nurses and staff coming in at all times of the day and the night the only other ill side effects he is suffering from his pain in his femur bones and a non existent appetite. The dietitian said a good way to whip his taste buds into shape when we get home is to have him eat pickle slices 30 minutes before trying to get him to eat. So I thought that was interesting and I think we will try it and see what happens. Well I found out  today my mom hadn't cancelled the Florida trip just yet just in case I changed my mind the last minute. I am very conflicted to be quite honest with you. If I go it will be the last couple of days before he goes to treatment, when he is at his strongest and up and around and his sister has generously told me she would bring him to his next round on the 31st .. I would be back on the 3rd so I could join him at the hospital for the last 3 days of his treatment.... BUT I feel guilty and I don't know if I should do it or not. I really would love a little break but in the back of my mind I am scared I am being selfish. I dunno. I would love a little input from you guys. I think I will see how it goes the next few days and how well I think Chris is recovering. Anyways love you all and please continue to pray. Chris is now halfway thru with him Biochemotherapy! May the last 3 rounds continue to diminish his tumors and be enough to heal him completely!!

xo

k

Hopefully headed home soon

So this weekend seemed to fly by I actually did alot of sleeping and so did Chris. Although I did make it to Bingo at the observation deck here at MD Anderson I hit Bingo twice and now am the proud owner of 10 dollars worth of credit at the gift shop. What shall I buy? hmmm I will use it tomorrow as the gift certificate expires tomorrow. My friend Connie from home came by and visited me today so that was a nice visit. It gets lonely here at the hospital after a while when I don't have visitors and Chris is sleeping off the medications but the Internet helps as I always say " All my friends live in my computer" which is a little sad in a way but its better than having all my friends live in my head! ha! Anyways Chris is doing really well compared to the last two treatments, minimal swelling and pain. He is still really red and tired and I don't believe he has had a bite to eat since last Tuesday but I have seen him alot worse. Although He does have a bad stomach ache  and it doesn't seem to be going away even with medication. Poor thing :(

I can't believe the summer is almost over!  I am especially sad my mom has had to cancel our vacation in Florida for the end of the month. I had been dreaming of white beaches and clear water all year. Oh well guess I will have to wait until next year when Chris is allllllll better!!! ;)

Morning Scare

So today was a little nerve wracking Chris's blood pressure which normally starts running low at the end of treatment starting running pretty low this morning 78/48 and he was running a temp. So they took cultures from his PIC line and took a urine sample to make sure it wasn't suffering from any kind of infection. Which could be possible seeing that his PIC line was clogged all week and I wasn't able to flush it and when he is fell a couple of weeks ago there was a possibility for an infection BUT he has been on antibiotics so hopefully its nothing to worry about. His blood pressure did go up and his fever broke so he seems to be OK for now. I just don't want anything to hinder him from finishing his treatments. He will have 3 more to go after this cycle. Then we hope that the tumors will be gone and we will have a walking miracle! :)   I know I have probably mentioned this before but only 15% of people actually respond to the BioChemotherapy and I just think its so Awesome he finally had a lucky break for once! Anyways that's the news for today. Love you guys and thank you as always for all the love and prayers

xoxoxoxoxo

k



Ack! Look at whats all going in my Babies Veins let alone all the medicine in pill form and his shots of Interferon!



CT Scan Images

Ok well these images aren't as pretty as the MRI and Xray photos but they get the point across!

Sinus Tumor, If you notice in the before picture you do not see any white area but in the after you do that is the bone you are now seeing and not tumor!

Before CT scan of sinus

After CT Scan of Sinus

Before CT scan of Lung

After CT Scan of Lung

When  Dr. Hwu came in this morning she expressed her excitement and the other Doctors excitement at their morning meeting that Chris is responding the BioChemotherapy so well. I am so happy everyone I just  know it will continue to shrink and he will continue to heal!

xo

k

p.s. I am working on a Melanoma website to get a little more awareness out there, please check it out, its still under construction but if you would like to add a link or your blog or have a suvivor story please contact me there at the website http://www.curemelanoma.info/

The BioChemotherapy is Working!!!

We got great news today and well I just wanna shout it from the roof top.. ALL OF CHRIS'S TUMORS ARE SHRINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What a BLESSING!!!  Well we knew his lung tumor had shrunk from being able to see his chest x-rays the last treatment but we were told today it had shrunk an incredible 50% more!  The best news though is that his sinus tumor is shrinking but we are not sure how much yet it did not say on the report but I think they want to do an MRI  before telling us anymore because it will give a better view of what is going on. Also all the tumors that were in his subcutaneous skin layer are all gone!  Anyways I am so excited and happy!  Thank you all so much for the prayers.  I will keep everyone updated while we are here as usual just pray for Chris while he undergoes his BioChemotherapy because its so rough on him.

Love you all so much

xo

k

Short Day, Short Blog

Well today we got to the hospital around 6am and we were out by 8am !  They rescheduled the appointment for his chest scan at 11:20 to around 7  this morning so that was fantastic. Chris even drove to MD Anderson this Morning, so that absolutely made my day!  We don't have to go to the hospital until 2:30 pm tomorrow so that will give us plenty of time to catch up on our sleep because you can't get too many zzz's  at the hospital. I am so anxious to know his test results. Pray your hardest tonight folks because we shall soon find out  how well this BioChemotherapy is working , better yet lets just pray for it to be completely gone!! :D

xo

k

I am hopeful for Chris!