Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Think happy thoughts.. Think Happy Thoughts..

Geez I wish I could fall asleep. Every night it seems I get to bed between 2-3 am. I try to make myself wake up early to get things on track but it doesn't seem to work. Maybe I can blog myself to sleep?!
Anyways Chris is feeling better, his stomach finally started acting right. We finally talked to his nurse and she said if he continued to have this pain for the next 24 hours that he would have to immediately go to the ER, needless to say I went to Wallyworld and bought heating pads, an array of gas medications, antacids... well something seemed to work because by the next morning he felt better. Today Chris went and gave blood hopefully everything will turn out to be ok. This past weekend I had a fun Halloween I even won a costume contest! I won a mini Heinekin fridge, it's so cute! It could not have came at a better time I gave it to Chris for an anniversary gift seeing that we decided not to get each other anything this was quite a  surprise for him. I wanted to wait until Friday but I couldn't keep it a secret I won, I was too excited.
Well aside from my happy win  I have still been down in the dumps. I just can't get into a normal routine, I feel so unmotivated and depressed. Sometimes when I am by myself I have these morbid thoughts like, this is what its going to be like if something happens to Chris, just no one here to talk, no one to snuggle to, no one to laugh with. Its sick, I know this. I have been trying so hard to think positive but horrible thoughts cross my mind on the daily. I just wish I could know what was going on in his body. I promise after this post no more being sad posts I will try and create some happy days that will make for happy blogs. Love you all.


Vanessa :) said...

awww, Kendra! my heart aches for you both! and I still can't even imagine going thru something like this! If you EVER need to talk NO MATTER the time please call me! I love you guys & wish there was something I could DO or SAY to ease any of this!

Mandi said...

You know what? It's OK to have those thoughts. It's OK to be sad. It's OK to be pissed off. So no more feeling guilty for being sad...OK? Good. Now let's move on. This is a process. Your lives have been turned completely upside down. Everything you're feeling is OK...normal even. I love you both and am here for you no matter what. But more than that, God is there...He will bring you through this (even if the worst possible thing happens). Big hugs to you friend.