Well today Chris is pretty much out of it. I forced him to drink 3 sips of milkshake and he ate 4 bites of jello. He is starting to retain fluid as I notice his face is starting to get puffy. I can't tell you how hard it is not to be able to do anything for him to make him feel better. His blood pressure is a little bit up from yesterday. His bottom number had been running around 40 but is now up to 50. He has a bright green bracelet on his wrist that says high risk for fall. I don't think he has been up since we have gotten here not even to go to the bathroom. I have spent most of the morning watching episodes of "The Bic C" a program on Showtime that tells the story of a lady who also has Stage 4 Melanoma, in the first season she refuses Chemo or any treatment because she does not want her hair to fall out, among other reasons... I am only on the third episode but its kinda funny and endearing all at once I believe in the 2nd season she starts taking treatments. I wish Chris were up to watching it but all he wants to do is sleep. I have so much paperwork for his SSI and his Insurance company to do but I need him awake to help me to do it as alot of the questions are about his past jobs. I guess I will get to it when he feels a little better. I found out online yesterday that his Ambulance ride here the first time cost over 4,000 and Insurance only covered a few hundred dollars of it, I don't quite understand why, they wouldn't let him leave by any other means. We asked them if we could just take him via car but they said we couldn't. I guess I am really not worried about it, I was just appalled at how little the insurance paid. I am really lost when it comes to finding out programs for Chris to utilize while there is no income coming in. SSI is going to take forever and I got a note saying they are going to have to do some more investigating into his actual case and he will only be able to get it if it is definite he terminal or he will not be able to work for the next year. Plus the 20 plus more pages of questions he has to fill out before they even start doing so. Why would they make it so hard for people that are so sick? Next I need to find out about any VA programs that Chris may be eligible for also maybe Food stamps. I hate having to do these things. I hate that I don't have a job that I would be able to support us and be able to be Chris's caretaker at the same time. If anyone knows of any programs and could guide me to the right places I would appreciate it ALOT. I have a million things to do and all I want to do is just hold my baby's hand and just tell him everything is going to be ok. My mom is coming to visit us today here in the hospital and I can't wait to see her and have someone to talk to while I am here. Anyways keep the prayers coming and I apologize in advance for all my venting. I love you all.