When Reality sinks in

So it seems like when we are home , even though I am very much reminded of the fact that Chris has cancer from cleaning his PIC line to taking him to labs, things still seem to start feeling almost "normal" again. It's easy to pretend that everything is fine for a little while but then he is admitted to the hospital and  BAM! the real reality of the situation literally slaps me in the face and it hurts. I am scared for my husband and I just feel so literally helpless in the process.  I hate this feeling so much.

 Well Chris is resting right now. He did not have a very good day and he threw up some of his medicine last night. He only takes one of his chemo medicines orally so hopefully it wasn't one that came up. He hasn't eaten since we have been here no matter how much I urge him to. Maybe later I can talk him into eating some Italian Ice or something else light. This time around we finally ended up in a small room. For some reason or other our last 3 visits we ended up landing huge corner rooms but I like the small room it feels cozy in here. The doctors have not come in yet  this morning so I don't know anything yet about his chest xray that was taken yesterday but hopefully we will soon. Yesterday Dr. Patel told us after his chemo she would like him to get an MRI  just to make sure nothing else is going on surrounding his dizziness upon standing, but I have a sneaking suspicion she just wants to see  the progress of his shrinking sinus Tumor as much as we do and can't wait until round 5.

Well that's whats going on just another fun filled adventure to MD Anderson Cancer Center!

Pray Pray Pray!

xo

k