6 months of BioChemotherapy results

Honestly the following is just a copy and paste of my facebook status from yesterday. I am terribly sick with the flu I must have picked up a bug at MD Anderson and I have to stay away from my honey so he doesn't get sick :(


Well we didn't exactly hear the news we wanted to hear but this is whats going on. His lung tumor is almost gone its just a small spot now. His sinus tumor has shrunk considerably. They think both are most likely dead and that is the remaining tissue. They have found a spot on his brain. It is very small the size of a half of a pea. The radiologist wasn't even convinced it was a melanoma. BUT it wasn't there his last scan and its where melamomas like to take up residence in the brain. Biochemo treats the whole body but not the brain. We will meet with a neuro surgeon next week for a consultation and then they will perform pinpoint radiation (gamma knife)and zap it. His Dr. thinks that a small piece of his sinus tumor must have broke off and went to the brain. Dr. Patel says the procedure is very effective. The next step after that would be removing the remaining sinus tumor. Well we are headed home. Thank you for the prayers, please continue to keep us on those prayerlists. It could have been much worse news and I am thankful that his tumors were not still active and that no other tumors besides the one in his brain have metasized anywhere eles. Today has been stressful but atleast I know where Chris stands.

Dear God..

Dear God.
First and foremost I want to thank you for all the wonderful blessings you have bestowed upon me throughout my life. Thank you for giving me parents who cared for me and thank you for rest of my family and friends who mean so much to me. I  truly don't deserve all that I have. Forgive me for the wrongs I have done throughout my life and all the mistakes that I will make in the future.  Right now I am coming to you on my knees and asking you that you take care of my husband. I am a complete wreck and am so scared about his upcoming hospital trip. Please God if it's  in your will please lay your hands on Chris and heal him of this horrible disease. Please take away our fear and be with us as you have been during this dark period of our lives. God thank you for sending Chris to me.  He is truly my best friend and love of my life. Through prayer and love we have overcome so many obstacles throughout our marriage. Please let me be able to keep Chris here on this Earth. I just can't imagine not growing old with him and not having a family with him. My heart aches so bad when I think about him not being here. I just don't know if I will be able to make it without him, I love him so much. Dear God just please be with us and take all theses negative thoughts out of my head I ask for greater Faith and the ability to see the positives in life right now. I need you more than ever and I know you hear me. Please answer my prayers with good results next Wednesday. Thank you for listening  God . I Love you
Amen
k

Restaging and Headaches

Well Chris has been having a 5 day headache that wont seem to go away. It's making me really bad nervous. He called MD Anderson yesterday but his Dr and nurse were both off. I got an automated call later that day that said he now had an appointment on the 20th and 21st for his complete PET scan and also Dr. Patel is suppose to re- stage his cancer. Then we will go back on the 27th for a brain MRI. So looks like we will be doing alot of traveling to Houston in the next two weeks. Chris didn't even tell me about the headaches until yesterday, I guess he didn't want to scare me but it's too late. He says it feels weird and it won't go away.  Last Friday I had to go to the ER because my left side was hurting so bad they took Xrays and  nothing seemed wrong so they think I just pulled a muscle real bad around my lung area. So the Dr. prescribed me some Lortabs and Muscle relaxers.  Chris took some of my pain medication and its the only thing that seems to help his headache. He still has some pain meds from his last visit to the hospital but they are a little too strong and makes him dizzy and sick. Needless to say I don't mind sharing. I am so scared that the tumor in his sinus is continuing to grow and that is what is causing the pain or there is something new inside growing. I pray pray pray pray that its just a sinus headache. The weather here has been so crazy and we live in a drafty old house. So hopefully that's all it is. I just feel so helpless when it comes to Chris. I just wish I could fix everything but I can't. In better news we had a lovely Thanksgiving and we also had a great time at the Christmas Festival in Natchitoches a couple weekends ago. Got to see all my wonderful cousins and catch up with old friends. I only can wish for more good times like this with Chris in the future. I pray that this PET scan will tell us only good things. I am praying hard for a Christmas Miracle and hope you are too. Sorry I  haven't written in a while but there hasn't been much to update other than Chris's headache he has been doing really well and building back up his strength and putting weight on. He looks so great. Anyways love you all and thank you keeping up and reading the blog.
All my love
Kendra

Chris feeling and looking good at the Christmas Festival

A mole? no no no no no no

Uhggg so today Chris says to me.. is this a mole? I really don't know.. they are small but it looks like some a few moles coming up on his arm and one his head. Now I am freaking out honestly. Tomorrow morning I have my follow up  for some biopsies with our Dermatologist so I am going to have her look at  Chris for a minute. Also his itching seems to be getting worse and worse, although oatmeal baths and Cocoa butter seemed to help for a little bit.

 I am dreading Dec 27th. I just keep praying so hard. I just don't know what I would do if they tell us it's still growing... to imagine Chris went through almost 6 months of torment is unimaginable. I need your prayers more than ever. I hate when the doubt sets in, its gets me so down. I just love Chris so much I can't imagine a life without him. Also everyone please continue to pray for my friend Stacey and her family, her sister is also Battling Stage 4 Melanoma. Please help spread the word about the importance of getting your skin examined yearly, it could save more lives then you would ever know.
Love all of you so much.
xo
k

All my love.

Well Chris is continually feeling better and that is such a wonderful thing!  Everyday he grows a little bit stronger. Last week I went the dermatologist for a check up,she said everything looked OK but she wanted to take a couple of biopsy's on a couple of less than normal looking moles. Since this whole ordeal every time I see a new mole pop up on myself or anyone I have melanoma paranoia. I encourage everyone to get check up especially if you have a fair complexion and have more than 20 moles. Just to be on the safe side!
I just keep on praying that everything will work out in Chris's favor. I am feeling better about things and haven't been so down in the dumps. I just couldn't have made it this far without every ones love and support. I would like to give a special thanks to The Nakatosh Priesthood, MPH, The Cancer League of Northeast Louisiana for all the prayers and financial help. Also my friends and family,, I feel so much gratitude for the phone calls, the weekly visits , cards, flowers..donations... Just EVERYTHING! All the love we have received from everyone is overwhelming and I just want to let you know I won't ever forget it. Your all pretty darn Awesome and don't you forget it.

Time sure does fly! 11 years married today!

Awwww we had a very nice today. Our day started off with a phone call from MD Anderson, they said that everything looked pretty normal on his blood test results, although his white blood count seemed to be elevated but it's still OK. We went out for lunch, I won 60.00 at bingo paradise off ten, went for ice cream then we went to the movies and saw Tower Heist (which wasn't as funny as I hoped but still good). We had a very nice anniversary and  had alot of fun. No moping around today and Chris was in good spirits. I hope to have at least 50 more!
xo
k

Think happy thoughts.. Think Happy Thoughts..

Geez I wish I could fall asleep. Every night it seems I get to bed between 2-3 am. I try to make myself wake up early to get things on track but it doesn't seem to work. Maybe I can blog myself to sleep?!
Anyways Chris is feeling better, his stomach finally started acting right. We finally talked to his nurse and she said if he continued to have this pain for the next 24 hours that he would have to immediately go to the ER, needless to say I went to Wallyworld and bought heating pads, an array of gas medications, antacids... well something seemed to work because by the next morning he felt better. Today Chris went and gave blood hopefully everything will turn out to be ok. This past weekend I had a fun Halloween I even won a costume contest! I won a mini Heinekin fridge, it's so cute! It could not have came at a better time I gave it to Chris for an anniversary gift seeing that we decided not to get each other anything this was quite a  surprise for him. I wanted to wait until Friday but I couldn't keep it a secret I won, I was too excited.
Well aside from my happy win  I have still been down in the dumps. I just can't get into a normal routine, I feel so unmotivated and depressed. Sometimes when I am by myself I have these morbid thoughts like, this is what its going to be like if something happens to Chris, just no one here to talk, no one to snuggle to, no one to laugh with. Its sick, I know this. I have been trying so hard to think positive but horrible thoughts cross my mind on the daily. I just wish I could know what was going on in his body. I promise after this post no more being sad posts I will try and create some happy days that will make for happy blogs. Love you all.
xoxo
k