Just Venting..

Well today Chris is pretty much out of it. I forced him to drink 3 sips of milkshake and he ate 4 bites of jello. He is starting to retain fluid as I notice his face is starting to get puffy. I can't tell you how hard it is not to be able to do anything for him to make him feel better. His blood pressure is a little bit up from yesterday. His bottom number had been running around 40 but is now up to 50. He has a bright green bracelet on his wrist that says high risk for fall. I don't think he has been up since we have gotten here not even to go to the bathroom. I have spent most of the morning watching episodes of "The Bic C" a program on Showtime that tells the story of a lady who also has Stage 4 Melanoma, in the first season she refuses Chemo or any treatment because she does not want her hair to fall out, among other reasons... I am only on the third episode but its kinda funny and endearing all at once I believe in the 2nd season she starts taking treatments. I wish Chris were up to watching it but all he wants to do is sleep. I have so much paperwork for his SSI and his Insurance company to do but I need him awake to help me to do it as alot of the questions are about his past jobs. I guess I will get to it when he feels a little better. I found out online yesterday that his Ambulance ride here the first time cost over 4,000 and Insurance only covered a few hundred dollars of it, I don't  quite understand why, they wouldn't let him leave by any other means. We asked them if we could just take him via car but they said we couldn't. I guess I am really not worried about it, I was just appalled at how little the insurance paid. I am really lost when it comes to finding out programs for Chris to utilize while there is no income coming in. SSI is going to take forever and I got a note saying they are going to have to do some more investigating into his actual case and he will only be able to get it if it is definite he terminal or he will not be able to work for the next year. Plus the 20 plus more pages of questions he has to fill out before they even start doing so. Why would they make it so hard for people that are so sick?  Next I need to find out about any VA programs that Chris may be eligible for also maybe Food stamps. I hate having to do these things. I hate that I don't have a job that I would be able to support us and be able to be Chris's caretaker at the same time. If anyone knows of any programs and could guide me to the right places I would appreciate it ALOT. I have a million things to do and all I want to do is just hold my baby's hand and just tell him everything is going to be ok. My mom is coming to visit us today here in the hospital and I can't wait to see her and have someone to talk to while I am here. Anyways keep the prayers coming and I apologize in advance for all my venting. I love you all.

xo

k

Great News

 Well we arrived to the hospital yesterday morning we didn't have far to drive as we arrived to Houston the night before and spent the night with my cousins Adrian and Carolina (Thank you guys for everything!!!)  Before being admitted Chris had to go get a chest X ray and have an appointment with his Dr.

Waiting for Dr. Patel (I told him to smile but he wouldn't listen! I don't blame him.. )

While at the Doctors appointment they examined his tumors that were visible and said that they had shrunk and that was very good sign that his treatments were working! The bad news was Chris's tumor did not carry the BRAF mutation which if you remember I mentioned earlier BRAF is a mutation that is sometimes found in Tumors and they have figured out a way to treat tumors with the BRAF mutation with just drugs and not all this Chemo and Immunotherapy. Although they said his tumor did carry the NRAS mutation but I don't think there was much they could do with that, as where Chris's tumor was located and they really didn't divulge much more information about it. Next we were sent to admissions where we received the room we would be living in for the next 7 days.

Chris relaxing in the new room

Although smaller than the last room we had the view is alot nicer.

You can see the 1/2 mile MD Anderson Skywalk also in the view not pictured is the Chapel directly below us and the parking Garage directly to the right




 
OK enough with views and rooms and blah blah blah lets get to the good news!

This morning the Doctor came in and told us normally they don't look at any results until after the 2nd treatment but they did look at Chris's chest xray and he said they were really pleased and it had really shrunk although they didn't say how much.. later I will ask the nurse practitioner if we can see pictures! That wonderful wonderful WONDERFUL news everyone. I just know if his lung tumor  is  shrinking his Sinus tumor has to be shrinking too! The reason they don't normally check the progress of the tumors until after the 2nd treatment is because their normally isn't any progress after the first treatment and I assume they don't want to tell the patient right off the bat.."Well nothings happening yet.." and get everyone involved discouraged. 

Well Chris started his Biochemotherapy yesterday and has been taking to it well so far, only the normal side effects. His blood pressure is pretty low but they are monitoring it well. I just want to thank everyone for all their prayers! Things are looking up for the first time since this has started and don't want to get my hopes up too much but I am very excited that small piece of good news this morning. I am proud to say Chris has prayers coming in from all around the world and that is AWESOME!

We love you all so much!

xo

k

Dread and Hope among a million other feelings

Oh geez I don't want to do this again. I am all packed up and ready to go to Houston. Chris is napping right now and I am just enjoying my last few hours here at home. At least we wont be gone as long as we were gone last time. Should be a week or less . I am so thankful I have someone to watch my house and pets, that's a REAL relief. I am just dreading the drive and just doing this all over again.  I keep praying that when we get there the Doctors will say, "Mrs. Verzwyvelt we can't believe this but all the cancer is gone, its a Miracle, you can take your husband home now".... Wouldn't that be Awesome?  I know this is just the beginning of this fight but I am already so tired. I am so frustrated feeling  this mass of feelings that range from Anger to Sadness to Hope. I am scared honestly. I am scared that the chemo treatments wont work, I am scared that cancer will take the man I love, I am scared he will be in pain, I am scared that I don't know what the future will hold but I guess no one does and I have to quit worrying about it because I don't know. I keep saying to myself everything is going to be OK and I pray so hard till I can't pray anymore and that is all I can do. I have been reading my bible that my friend Mandi gave me  and I keep the prayer cloth that my cousin Shontell gave us on Chris at all times these things give me hope and comfort.
I am happy to say that one of Chris's tumors that is visible under the skin under is shoulder blade is visibly down at least by 60% I would say. I don't know if I ever blogged about that tumor but when Chris was in the hospital at Cabrini he had several Melanomas just pop up in the fatty layer of the skin a couple on his head, one on his neck, one under his shoulder blade and one on his side. I actually have a picture of 2 that they removed one from his neck and one from his head if you would like to see them. Its just a tiny bit gross but I will link the pics below.

Removing 2 small Melanomas for Biopsy

Normally the tissue from Melanomas are Gray or Black the lady who removed them said this was the first time ever she had seen them pink/fleshy colored.. I wonder if that is a good thing?

Chris having his neck Stitched back up

Anyways that's the news!  I feel better getting some feelings out on here. I just gotta suck it up and deal with and let God handle the rest.

Love you all.

xo
k

Nice Weekend and Very Random Pictures

So if you didn't notice I took the weekend off from the blog. I needed a little break! We had a nice weekend and had visitors galore. Its so nice to be surrounded by family and friends. I just wanted to thank everyone for all the love and support. Chris has been doing well the past few days, we are leaving tomorrow for Houston, we are going to spend the night with my cousins and then Wednesday morning we will hit the hospital for the next 7 days. I thought I would post a few random pics for you guys, I am normally a picture taking machine but haven't been taking too many here in the last few weeks I regret all the missed family picture opportunities I have had but I am sure I will have plenty more opportunities when we get back home, I haven't fixed the date stamp on my photos I am still working on it!

I recieved this pin from my sister in law and its true. Cancer Sucks!

No its not Wasabi and Pickled Ginger its Spinach Ice Cream with a little watermelon! We had so much extra spinach left over I had to do something with it, it DELICIOUS and does not taste like Spinach! I will give you the recipe at the end of this blog!





Chris napping and if you look close our White kitty Angel is snuggled against him he has diligently laid with Chris day and night :)

Pretty Flowers adorning my dresser thanks to Susan, Vanessa, Leah and Aunt Lorna Thank you so much ladies!

 Spinach Ice Cream

2 cups of Spinach lightly packed (FRESH!!!!)
2 cups of ice
3/4 coconut milk (can substitute regular milk or soy milk for this)
1/4 coconut cream
2/3 cup powdered milk

Throw this in the blender and go to town. Serve immediately or store in freezer for up to a week. It tastes like Coconut ice cream but you get all the benefits of Spinach!

Well my loves that's whats been going on. We love you all so much thank you for everything and thank you for reading.

xo
k

Red Beans and Rice

Well I heard back from MD Anderson about Chris's blood tests  from yesterday and the nurse said there was nothing of concern and everything seems to be OK for now. So that's great news.  Chris also had a phone interview with the Social Security Dept this morning and the good news is I am pretty sure he will qualify, the bad news it takes 5 months to get stuff started... ACK! And no backpay.. Something just seems very wrong about that but we will take what we can get! In other news Chris ate 3 bowls of red beans and rice for lunch.. ha! So I can now conclude that his appetite is all the way back :D We also got a new phone fedexed to us today, I can't BELIEVE I washed our cell phone yesterday and we already got a replacement, it was literally a Friday Verizon Miracle. Anyways I hope everyone has a fun safe weekend, keep us in your prayers and thoughts.

xo

K

Note to self: Cellphones and Washing Machines don't mix

I can't believe it's already Thursday! This week has gone by entirely way too fast.  Today Chris is feeling  and looking so Good, we headed to Natchitoches for blood testing and  I ran a few errands. The rain today was a blessing as I didn't have to drive Chris around in the heat  and I don't have to worry about watering my plants this evening. Yippie!  My sister and mom visited most of the day and we caught up with some movies we hadn't seen yet. Chris's appetite is slowly coming back as I caught him rummaging the pantry  lol.  So all in all today was a nice day minus me accidentally washing our cell phone.. Ack!

As usual, Thank you all SO much for the prayers and love.

And a big  Thank You to whoever sent us a gift in the mail, there was no note or return address on the envelope it was only post marked from Tennessee. We appreciate it so much.

xoxo
k

Thank you's

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the love and support. We appreciate it more than anything. We have had more visits here at the hospital this past week than we have had at our house all year, it seems. It helps pass the time and get the mind off the obvious. We have such good friends and family we are truly blessed.  If you have a facebook or Blog we would love if you would link us.  Due to the type of Cancer that Chris has there is not that much information available online and I hope this blog will  help anyone else dealing with a similar case or we would love to connect with anyone who has gone through this or is going through this. We should have more information in the next couple of days so we will keep you posted.

xoxo